Balance In The Healing

I have pulled away from much in my life.  Slowing down, disconnecting from without to connect within.  My blogging and tweeting life has been non-existent as I focus my energy on hearing and healing.

This does not mean that I have not been present in the tweeting stream or the blogging world.  I have sometimes logged on to check in on the inter-connective world I seem to have put aside.  I have floated unseen in the twitter stream and bookmarked several of my beloved blogs to read when my inner journey allows.

IMG_1255 I take a sip of my chai latte and look up from my laptop at my corner table in Delaney’s.  The little    coffee shop is bustling with people and the bright background music competes with the buzz of conversation.  A cocoon of noise that I would not have been able to tolerate in the years before my diagnosis in March 2010, and that even now almost induces me to leave.  There are days when the stimulation of too many people causes my head to ache and the fog to descend.  I have learned so much and recovery sometimes seems too slow.  I am constantly practicing awareness, patience and acceptance.

There is a difference between exhaustion and sleepiness.  Between being tired and being sleepy.

I’ve been working on healing the Severe Adrenal Fatigue that has plagued me since 2006 and which was finally diagnosed in early 2010.

The shattered illusion of my marriage was the first of five emotional ‘traumas’ to roll through my life in three short years.  Added to that was a head injury which resulted in post concussion syndrome.  No wonder my body reacted as if I were living through a wartime siege.

If I’d known then how to support my body and mind….

I’ve become somewhat of a born again self-care person.  Suggesting and advising friends and family how to be mindful and support their adrenals when confronted with a stress challenge in life.  Support the behind the scenes workers who struggle every minute to bring balance to the physical body while stressors of various kinds threaten to tip the scale into illness.

I’ve been writing this blog entry for close to a week now, ever since a dear twitter friend sent me a private message of concern, followed by a note from another bright light of support and friendship in my blogging world.  The connections I’ve made in the online world mean much to me and that is what I miss dearly with this self-imposed withdrawal.

Each time my fingers start tapping a rhythm and before I know it five pages have gone by and I’m only just beginning.  Writing is calling to me once more and now that I have pared down my obligations and taken the time to rest after a very full 2012, I can breathe and let the words come.

Limiting my time looking into the brain stimulating light of my laptop screen is one way I am coaxing sleep back into my life.  Turning the lights out and closing my eyes in bed by 10pm is another new routine – something that was so foreign to me that it was the change I fought against the hardest.  I have long been a night owl and often found it easiest to write into the wee hours of the morning.  Allowing time for a transition I thought would never happen; to find the open doors to my creativity before night descends.  I am so pleasantly surprised by the joy I now find in my quiet evenings with a book and my early to beds.

I am finding a balance and a new way of being.  I am so incredibly grateful for all the gifts that each of the ‘traumas’ brought to my life.  I am so grateful that I am fortunate to live in circumstances that afford me the opportunity to learn and to grow.   And the time to release the hold that time may have on me.

And….if you find yourself being battered by stress, please take the time to support your body with good nutrition and supplements.  Find a way to allow your mind and body to decompress.  Everything is connected….

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4 Comments

Filed under Adrenal Fatigue

4 responses to “Balance In The Healing

  1. Dear Terri,
    I am trying to catch up on my reading, and found this post that got away from me. I am hoping that you are feeling better. Sending hugs.
    Warmly
    Naomi

    • Hi Naomi,

      Your bright smile shining up at me always brings a matching smile to my face 🙂

      I’m healing well, thank you. I’ve learned and grown so much as a result of the adrenal fatigue. The best gifts often come wrapped in the strangest packaging….

      Blessings,
      T

  2. Cindy Fergus

    Wow…. I am finding such comfort and validation reading this post… I am divorced for 5 years after a 20 year marriage… March of 2013 I got rear ended in a car accident.. Dealing with PCC and Adrenal insufficiency, Dr. visits galore ever since… I have been hiding from my normal social life and constantly re-evaluating why .. Some days sad and insecure, other days enlightened by all I have learned throughout these trials.. I feel judged and ironically I am the one who is hardest on myself.. It’s so painfully obvious that I haven’t been capable of my usual pushing myself to super woman status. I am a single mom with a 9 and 11 year old son at home. I have been out of work since the accident. I was a vocational instructor, I loved my job but could not focus to teach and lecture.. I could go on and on but starting to sound like a whine fest! wow… It’s just comforting to know that there is someone else out there that can relate.. Thank you for sharing you!

    Gratefully,
    Cindy

    • Cindy,

      I am happy that my words have touched you and that you have found some relief in reading them.

      May you continue to heal and recognize the Wholeness that is always you. May you give yourself permission to take the time…to let go of what is no longer serving you…

      I continue to find it amazing what I am able to let go of, which I previously thought to be vital to either do, have, or be.

      It’s so hard to be a single mom of young kids and you are not alone. Your job isn’t to achieve “super woman status” – your job is to simply notice how you are feeling…not to judge that feeling…simply notice…and then reach for a better feeling – just one tiny step at a time….

      May you find peace and ease in your life. You are in my thoughts…

      Much love,
      Terri

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