Every time I make a promise that I don’t keep I chisel another crack in core of my truth. I patch these cracks with the lies I tell others and the lies I tell myself. Little white lies made of papier maché that crumbles under the weight of the truth it is holding back.
Sacred Vows are promises made of the highest level, witnessed by the highest Self. A marriage oath, the covenant made when you bring a new little being into the world – these are examples of Sacred Vows. Break these vows and the earthquake is felt throughout your entire body. A continental drift between the truth that is known in every cell of your body and the lie that is perpetuated by the Ego mind. A disconnect so great that illness – of body, mind and soul – seeps into the schism. An energy-blocking gluey pustule of disease.
1. a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness sickness; ailment.
2. any harmful, depraved, or morbid condition, as of the mind or society: His fascination with executions is a disease.
Each Sacred vow is a contract witnessed from within. Negligently break any part of that contract and you break with your Self. If you seek to end such a vow, do so with great integrity and gentle grace of spirit.
When the sacred vow of my long-term marriage was broken it felt like the force of a tsunami had walloped me and it kept pounding into me over and over again. The power of the pain was great enough to break me open and for that I will always be grateful. But this is a story that deserves a much longer visit – I’m mentioning it here simply to illustrate my experience with broken vows. That I know, intimately, the consequence of breaking them.
And this is all just a rambling interlude – a preface to what I’m going to do. I intend to write my own Sacred Vow to myself. A contract from within to without, from me to Me, between self and Self. Perhaps the most sacred of all contracts.
I make resolutions, intentions and challenges every New Year, and again in September because since having school-age children it has become the ‘real’ new year. This time it’s slightly different. This time I’m fully committing, deeply committing. What it actually feels like is not that I’m having to write my Vow – but that I only have to LISTEN, for it’s already inscribed in my soul. I just have to get out of my own way and let the truth come forth and then commit to hearing it every day. In short, my Sacred Contract with myself is to be a congruent human being. Live in my truth.
And so I’ll be writing the HOW of the Vow…..included in my Sacred Contract will be what tools I’ll use to help guide me. Also included will be the grace of forgiveness. As one of my great acting teachers said, “Stumble, bumble, fumble, forgive, let go, go on.”
I’ll post my Sacred Contract when I’ve transcribed it. After I’ve taken the time to sit in silence, to meditate and to listen. What would your own personal Sacred Contract look like?